Category Archives: Humor

Bat Country?

I’ve Got A Damn Cold And It’s Cold. But Wait! It Gets More Interesting.

End of a short March snowstorm.
End of a short March snowstorm.

So I Got A New Shitty Phone Camera

It started with getting a new shitty phone/camera combo. It does have a brilliant idea inside of it. This strange and brilliant idea is that cell phone cameras suck and that for now, there’s no way to really make a pinhole work like a real lens – unless you use software.

The cell phone I have and one other company’s cell phone are the only phones with designers who understand this. The other incorporates software to do a large range of effects. The camera I bought, does this well for just one effect – HDR. As a bonus, I can extract a RAW file out of it so that I can manipulate it to my personal taste and desires.

I’m excited! My body is not. A cold has set in. The weather is a windy and blistering cold, so that’s not going to work. My ventures with this shitty camera/shitty phone will be limited.

This cold lead me to legal pharmaceuticals for help.

A Drug So Powerful, I Will Not Name It

I’m sensitive to drugs in unpredictable ways.  For example, Motrin puts me to sleep quickly. According to doctors, some of my reactions are just not possible. This is frightening because I know they happen. Either I’m not a real human patient or their not real doctors.

Due to this situation, I rarely touch any drugs and I’m extremely careful when I do. I have one over-the-counter cold medicine that seems to work close to what’s intended as it puts me to sleep when I have a cold. It’s just sleep though, not real rest. I awake in a weird realm of reality for a while too.

As I leave out for work, I stare at the bird feeder in the snow with morning sun rays playing on the scene. I even take the time in the bitter cold wind to photograph it.

Bird bath in snow.
Bird bath in snow.

On To Work, Just Past the Creepy Jail

So off to work I go. I’m excited to see what the day has planned and I have tissues ready. I’m even ready for the leer of those who will be certain that my sneeze will mean certain death by plague for them. On my way in, I pass the jail that I’ve grown to hate.

Old Licking County Jail
Old Licking County Jail

I hate this old jail because of what it symbolizes – a loss of freedom. Sure many who were housed there a long time ago deserved their punishment, but this building’s utility has long since passed. Now, the county owns it and taxpayer money is confiscated to care for it out of the claim that it’s “historic”.

Historic my ass. Do you think anyone spends 2 seconds wishing they could revisit that night in the county jail from 1968?

I know I’ll always remember how creepy the old place is. That’s historically significant.

Did I Enter Bat Country?

Dead bat.
Dead bat.

Then I encounter a dead bat in my path. I don’t think that I’ve ever found a dead bat. It’s there though. Very damn cold and very damn dead.

I flash back to the only other bat that I’ve seen dead and that was in the movie, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas. It’s at the 1:39 mark of this clip.

More Encounters With The Absurd

After this, I had an encounter with a drug addled lunatic. All that I did was listen. It was intense for him. For me, a bore.

Of course, a morning like this made me think of Hunter S. Thompson. I am in strong disagreement with Mr. Thompson’s advice on drugs, but as he’s stated, his approach worked for him. My approach is that you don’t really need them if you pay attention to how strange and entertaining the world really is. A certain perspective of not giving a care(yes, care is the word) is required, but reality and over-the-counter pharmaceutically induced sleep can put you into Bat Country too.

I Met Hi-Low On A Hike Today

Dog with a deer leg.
Hi-Low the dog with a deer leg.

A Hike Near Gambier

Hikes and drives around the Gambier area are always fun. Today was perfect for a short walk in the woods. That’s were we met Hi-Low.

Hi-Low was ignoring his owner and teasing his buddy, a coonhound, with a deer leg he’d found. The owner was just recovering from a deer’s head that Hi-Low wanted to bring on the hike. He had so much exuberance that it was fun to watch his mischief.

Managing Expectations.

Favorite coffee mug.
My favorite coffee mug.

A morning cup of coffee from your mug in a warm house is a realistic expectation to have if you’re a working person. It’s not much to ask for. I can understand the expectation of something like this because I have that expectation. In a world as plush as we have it in this modern day though, it’s best to manage your own expectations.

The first time I heard the term, “manage expectations”, was in a professional setting. A client was expecting more than they had paid for. The manager told us that she would “manage their expectations”. I’m still laughing about managing the expectations of others. What a funny approach to a disappointed customer.

While managing the expectations of others is laughable and impossible, you can manage your own. If you set them to high, you’re going to suffer anxiety when the unrealistic expectations never happen. The happiest people I know are the ones with the most realistic and attainable expectations.

Learn to let those little things work for you. If you bust your coffee mug and don’t have any coffee, that’s a manageable situation. If you need an $8 latte every morning, that expectation will make you sad at some point.

Crazy Women Dancing In Red Shoes On Black Friday

The streets will always surprise you if you pay attention. This lady was wearing these oversized red tennis shoes with a skimpy dress in the cold morning after Thanksgiving.

Crazy woman in a black dress with red shoes.
Red shoes, black dress, black Friday.

She danced wildly and blindly with a sweater covering her eyes. It was the strangest scene.

What made it stranger was another crazy sight of red shoes a while back. I posted about this guy in red boots reading the 10 commandments.

Crazy man in red shoes.
More crazy in red shoes.

One thing I will always credit photography is it’s ability to bring these strange things together in a way that makes sense. There is a pattern to how weird things occur, even if it’s unexplainable. This is reality and it’s stranger than the fiction on your TV. Get out there and see it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.

I hope everyone has a great holiday season.

Wild turkey at Blendon Woods
Wild turkey at Blendon Woods

I was looking for a photo to post that had something to do with Thanksgiving and I found this photo of a turkey and it reminded me of something to be thankful for.

I took this photo at Blendon Woods near Columbus, Ohio quite a few years ago. I had been laid off for quite a while and things where looking bleak. I went to work for a delivery company to make ends meet until something came up. Instead of worrying to much about the situation, I went to the park to ponder solutions.

I seen a flock of turkeys and slowly stalked them with the cheap camera I had. Watching them humored me and kept me occupied for a little while. It took my mind off of how dire the financial situation had become.

Things got back to normal and I’m very thankful for my job, friends, and family. I’m thankful for the tougher times too. They teach you to be more humble and simple. Sooner or later, things in life break. It’s good to know how to stay simple and humble to get through them. Always be thankful.

The Mothman Returns

The Mothman Returns. Caught On Video. CLICK HERE !

Point Pleasant, WV Mothman
Mothman statue in Point Pleasant, WV.

I heard about the Mothman when I was young. We had family friends who raised a boy who had parents that died in the Silver Bridge collapse. He told me about it. He believed. At least he said he did as he and the older kids all waited for my expression when he told me that standing next to the Ohio River at night.

I believed it back then, but sorry to say, now I have to see to believe. It is an interesting story though. So many witnesses that you have to wonder what they did see.

Crazy Boots

Red boots with pajamas.
The boots drew me into this crazy scene.

A few of the crazy things I noticed in this scene are –

  • The red boots. That’s what drew my eye to the scene before I shot it.
  • The pajama bottoms in with the dress coat and baseball hat.
  • The sports gloved hand holding a flower stem.
  • The Illuminati all-seeing eye over the 10 commandments. Explainable, but weird.

It just leaves me to wonder what this guy was thinking.

Normally, I won’t post photos of the people that obviously have problems that pass by my office. I work in between a homeless shelter, law offices, probation program centers, the Courthouse, drug treatment centers, and churches offering programs. I see a lot of crazy things from people that are struggling with life.

I get criticized for photographing much of the craziness I see. I don’t care. I photograph everything I find interesting, but I I use great care in what I show the world. I won’t exploit a person that may not be able to control how they appear to the world. If I think that they cannot control how they appear to the world due to circumstances out of their full control, I don’t post it.

In some cases like this one though, it all comes together and a little slice of craziness that can be used without harming anyone happens. It’s incredible isn’t it? All of these things that make no sense just coming together like this.

Day 79 365 Project

Pancakes on the ground.
I thought these were pancakes.

This was humorous until I figured out what they were. They looked like pancakes in a parking lot. I thought it was mildly humorous to see them like this on the ground.  I’ve been so out of ideas lately that I figured, what the hell, this might be all you come up with today.

I got them on the computer screen and realized that they were McDonalds hamburger buns that had soaked up rain. They were the size of pancakes and pretty much held their shape, form, and color. The tire tracks will give you some idea of how huge these things were.

What in the hell is in them that they can do this. Real bread would just dissolve into a mushy blob.

A side effect of always looking for photos is that you noticed these details in the things around you that would otherwise go unnoticed. The world can be a strange place.

Day 18 365 Project

Deer skull made into a hat rack.
It’s a hat rack. Get it?!

Today was a cold, miserable, and wet day. I took this photo of a deer skull being used as a hat rack because I found the “hat rack” idea hilarious and I was to lazy to go out in the weather searching for something more interesting. How many deer have to die just so rednecks have a hat rack? Murica!

It does bring up a gear topic that I don’t like to talk about. I hate cell phone cameras. I find the quality low and their controls nearly impossible. Their lens is usually smudged and low natural light without flash just is not happening.

With all of that against them, it doesn’t change the fact that others take incredible photos with them and I don’t. I want to change that. I need to practice to prove to myself that I too can create decent images within the high limitations of these cameras.