Mark Spearman

I’m not much a football fan. I don’t dislike it. It just bores the hell out of me. However, I will watch some of the Superbowl if out of curiousity from all of the hype and the commercials have so much money poured into them that they are usually entertaining. The commercials seem to take more time that the actual game anyhow.

I didn’t find any of the commercials to be good this year. When you put them together as a whole, they just had a downright odd message to them. I mean really odd. Given that the majority of the audience is male, I found all fo the commercials about immasculation just odd. I sat in a basement bar full of guys that just seemed dumbfounded at what they where watching. When I came into the room, there was Oprah setting on a couch in a commercial. Oprah?

Then it got worse. There were men chasing each other around in European style underwear. What in the hell? The end of the commercial revealed it was for Dockers. Nothing good has happened at any job I’ve ever had requiring Dockers. I’ve quit everyone of them. The management requires you to put these pleated(guys should never wear anything pleated) flimsy pants on and go sit in a little gray box that is usually in a basement. I don’t know if a sashay is required, but most guys seemed to do it if they were wearing Dockers. I pray to God I never did. I don’t think I did. From there, the company heaps the abuse of solving all of the company’s problems they created by making outrageous claims in their sales pitch, while the people who recieve the credit make about 4 times your salary. You’re supposed to do this for about 30 years and die. I didn’t. I got the hell out of there. I don’t care what the cost is. Now, I’m watching the Docker guys chase each other around in their underwear in a field. What’s the point? Are they saying that all they’ve taken all of the pants from these guys? Are they saying the economy is that bad?

Then it got even worse. A guy reads off a list saying he’ll do everything his wife demands from him, if he just gets to drive a Dodge Charger. Not a good 1969 Charger, a four sedan new Charger. What in the hell? You don’t have to give up your manlihood to drive a four-door sedan. What’s the alternative, a VW Bug or a mini-van? If I did that list he read off, I’m getting something and it’s not going to be a car. It’s not going to have a damned thing to do with a car.

As I sat in the room with a bunch of guys that a year ago were happy, they were all disgusted. Half of us are laid-off. Obama is President and Hillary is Secretary of State. Barney Frank, a guy that runs male brothels and can barely speak from some sort of mouth disfunction is on top of the world. Half of the football players seem to be wearing hair extensions. If you want a job, you have get it from a “stimuls package”. Nobody even seemed to care who won the game. It’s just a screwed up world in the year 2010. Things have got to get better soon.